What is Wife Rape?
Wife Rape is a form of sexual abuse and domestic violence, wherein sex is forced on the female spouse (the wife) by her own Husband. It may sound new to some people, due to the fact that “marriage” is involved, but make no mistakes; any sexual activity that is not mutually consented to by both parties, and forcefully carried out is “Marital Rape” (just that the most common type is wife rape, as cases of husband rape is extremely rare).
Why Do Men Rape Their Wives?
As insane as it sounds “Wife Rape”, is rarely ever spontaneous, be guided though, no reason or motive can ever justify a husband raping his wife. Below are few reasons why certain men rape their wives;
1. Need to show Dominance: It is no news that most men, if not all are egoistic in nature. They like to depict their dominance (in different ways). For some men, their way is to inflict pain on others, in this care, their wives. They rape their wives to show dominance over them.
2. Deprivation: Some men believe that their wife has no right to deny them sex, whenever they demand for it. So whenever their wives refuse to give in to their demands, they feel they have the right to “take it by force.”
3. Lack of communication: Lack of communication between spouses is another reason; as the husband could easily think his wife is refusing him sex intentionally and therefore opts to rape her to satisfy his urge. But when there is adequate and effective communication between the them, they will understand each other well and horrific experiences such as rape can be avoided.
4. Anger and Frustration: For some men, raping their wives is their own way of letting out their anger and frustration. It usually starts from battery, then to rape.
5. Power, control and Humiliation: Most men who rape their wives, do so because they see their wives as a property they own. Therefore, they easily conceive the idea that they can abuse, humiliate and control their wives as they please.
6. Family and Childhood factors: Just like heredity, traits can be passed in families, but this time not genetically but by merely experiencing it. If you grow up in a home where wife rape occurs often, it could make you like that too, depending on the interpretation given to it by the kid.
The Nigerian Society and Why We Do Not Believe In Wife Rape.
The Nigerian society still views marriage largely on the old principles of their forefathers. Most tribes, if not all still retain the idea that, the wife becomes the property of the husband after all marriage requirements have been carried out. So the concept of “Marital Rape” does not exist to them, because it is viewed as basic sexual intercourse by the husband to his wife, regardless of the means adopted or consent of the wife. To them, in marriage, “SEX is SEX” not rape nor Wife Rape.
Effects of Wife Rape.
1.It could cause psychological or physical damage to the victim (the wife).
2. Some husbands do feel remorseful after the act and some really do self-destruct, owing to the weight of the guilt.
3. Tension between the spouses.
4. Lack of intimacy.
5. Separation and divorce.
6. All the above mentioned effects will also affect their kids, if they have any.
What To Do, When Raped As A Wife.
Importantly, you need to understand that what you are protecting is no longer a marriage, but slavery. Below are ways by which you can seek help;
1. Start by confiding in someone you can trust.
2. Find a legal counselor who can advice you, let you know what your options are.
3. Look for Women Advisory Groups and narrate your stories to them.
4. There are many NGOs focused on women who are abused. Seek them out.
5. Go to Domestic Violence Centres and look for help.
You need not remain enslaved and violated. Take a step that will change your life forever, today!