Have you been confronted by several people as to being toxic or dramatic? Have you asked yourself if what they are saying is true? Well, if yes then this post is for you. With characteristics explained below, you would find out if you are a toxic lover.
The whole of Nigeria went wild yesterday when Big Brother Naija Housemate Cee-C used very heavy insulting words on fellow housemate Tobi. The incident went on for over an hour and unfortunately, the young lady didn’t think she did anything wrong until a video clip was shown of her and she was dethroned from her head of house position then concurrently given a strike.
Even after the external body’s intervention she still gave a halfway apology to the young man. She clearly felt bad about it because the video and subsequent punishment made her see just how horrific her actions were. It makes you wonder just how many other soft-hearted, good and emotional people like Cee-C, are pushing people away unknowingly due to their toxic behaviors.
Today we will be discussing how to know if you are a toxic lover.
You have a hard time saying sorry
Do you find that saying sorry feels like you are belittling yourself? It feels like you are doing something stressful. It feels like you are doing something wrong or embarrassing. You literarily do not drive any pleasure in making people you have wronged feel better and all you just want to do is get it over with.
You feel like all your partners have wronged you and you had no part to play to cause the end of previous relationships
Essentially, this is you seeing nothing wrong with your actions. If you find it hard to see where you’ve gone wrong in issues. If at the heart of every argument is you seeing your lovers as the villain then you have a problem. In every disagreement, every party involved had a significant part to play and people become toxic when they can’t see their own flaws but capitalize on that of others.
You sometimes feel like you are out of control that it’s someone else taking over your actions
This basically means you lack emotional intelligence and you let your feelings cloud your thoughts. For every time you do something you don’t understand that you have hurt someone until something serious happens. Toxic people act out of intense devotion, possessiveness, insecurities and deep emotions felt for their partners.
Things get to you easily
Are that you person that gets irritated and infuriated by the slightest provocation? Then you just might be a toxic lover. If you have a happy heart and a free mind then overlooking things with a positive mindset would be your forte. If everyone in this world had a hard time overlooking things or forgiving actions then this world would be a toxic place to live in. Strength is not measured by engaging in petty arguments, it is measured by understanding and making quick and rational decisions as to why fighting is not worth it.
All your exes have complained that you are dramatic and they can’t deal
For more than one person to state this then darling, it’s not a people against me. It’s a me against myself thing. Everybody can’t lie to you. Once it becomes a pattern then you should start to rethink it.
You feel like you don’t have real friends or maybe you don’t have friends at all
People generally run away from someone that they see as a toxic lover. If you notice that your friends consistently avoid you whether there is an issue or not then something is gravely wrong with your attitude.
All in all, toxic people aren’t necessarily bad people, they have a buildup of sad and depressing emotions which need to be worked one. Most toxic people are plagued by the superiority complex, seeking and demanding validation whereas what they really need is self-validation. At the heart of superiority complex is an inferiority complex.
If you feel like this is you or someone you know then get help for yourself or that person. Toxic people are not wicked they just have unmanaged emotions and self-esteem issues.