Home The Debate EGBOR OCHUKO JOY – Entry 25 (September Debate)

EGBOR OCHUKO JOY – Entry 25 (September Debate)





The question can you marry your best friend Ex, does not really have  a conclusive answer. But before taking anything’s into consideration a best friend is someone, not to mix up word is like your second half without the marital string, they re family who aren’t blood related.

Back to the question can you marry your best friend Ex, I would say ‘yes’ because I have the ability and I’m capable since ‘can’ means the ability to do something so anyone can marry their best friends Ex but what we should take into consideration is are you willingly to do it.
Marriage is a long term commitment for life, the forever and ever. It’s a start of a new home which you make happen. So when such question is asked, it’s actually one’s personal conviction.
Firstly, is the Ex what you want in a life partner? Note all our taste in a relationship are totally different, what would have ended their ownrelationship is what you want in yours. For example your bestie doesn’t like a clingy type or the overprotective type and that’s what you want in a partner. So would you let the fact that it’s your best friend’s Ex now let you lose the possibility of getting that in your life.
Secondly, how was their relationship life? When did this relationship take place? Question like this should also be dwelled upon. For example your bestie dated when they were in secondary school and they were just a child and they ended thing based on some childish unresolved things there is a lot of possibilities that the Ex would have developed himself to a better Man or they dated based on just sex or finance and there wasn’t really love but just case of attraction and what they may gain. Would you let that stop you.
Also, if the relationship had been right for both parties but your best friend blowed it up or the one at fault an example could be; cheating or not given the care and proper attention every partner deserves. So would you say no cause your Best friend disapproves it?
Thirdly, questions like: what was the relationships based on? Were they happy together? Who broke the relationships? What was the priority of the relationships? Why did they break up? Is there any string of feelings attached in any of them( your bestial or the Ex)? Why are you marrying the person? – is it cause of jealousy or cause you are desperate? What is your motive of getting married? Is there love from both you and the Ex you are getting married to? Questions like this should be dwelt on before accepting the proposal.
Lastly, is he/she worth losing your friendship for? With time people and also the kind of person we are attracted to change as well. This Ex has all the qualities you want for a future partner and you present him to your best friend and he/she just says no just cause He/she used to date him and there is no other reason behind it.
It’s wise to note that every Ex have some sort of connection especially if they had sexual intercourse and there is chances that they may get behind your back and start an affair again but in a case where your best friend is happily married and is saying no just cause he/she are Ex and you end it.You are letting go of your happiness for a friend who already find their happiness and you are sad but if that person makes you happy why not go for it, your best friend should be able to stand by you if they don’t do that that ain’t true friendship.
We should also note that we are someone’s Ex yet we marry them no matter how their relationship was, so why does your best friend have to be the basic factor for you to decide your marital home? When we don’t let their Ex’s be a determinant factor. So the answer shouldn’t be based on your best friend but the individual need.
In life we must put ourselves first, after putting God, even when we don’t want to so if this person is meant for you, your best friend should be willingly to accept if they don’t that aren’t true friendship.
Also, in marriage, best friend switches, so you giving up your life time partner for your best friend is like giving up a cool best friend with more benefits for your best who will leave you to start his/her own home. So the decision falls down to you not your best friend but opinion can be given by them but not decision.
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