Are you losing your mind?
Has the love of your life suddenly turned to your worst nightmare?
Then this is for you. This article will help you to understand your nagging partner and the reasons for their incessant nagging. You will also be able to take practical steps to curb it.
A year ago my aunt started a crazy spree of nagging. I was living with her and her family at the time and I almost lost my mind with her daily ringing of all the things wrong with my uncle. He was basically living out of the house as he left home very early in the morning and arrived late, all in the bid to be free of this woman.
I knew that their marriage was on the verge of ending and if I didn’t do something quickly, my uncle would not take it any longer.
What did I do? I spoke to my aunty. No, it wasn’t that easy.
I spoke to her to understand the reasons for her becoming a nagging partner. The first way to end nagging is to try to understand where the person is coming from. Most times when dealing with a nagging partner we snap at them, walk out of them and make them feel even worse than before, thereby making the nagging situation even worse.
I learned three reasons people becoming nagging partners with solutions.
1.Insecurity: She felt scared that he was going out to meet other women because he stopped doing the little romantic things she had fallen in love with. Things like early morning kisses and surprise gifts. My uncle, on the other hand, stopped those things because he was dealing with some issues which he didn’t want to share with her to avoid issues like this. He unconsciously stopped doing all the amazing romantic things even when the issue was resolved.
Solution: I explained to him calmy and he spoke to her about it. He explained the reasons for it and gave her his phone to go through chats, pictures and anything that could scare her. Her trust went over the top and she became calmer.
2. He wasn’t paying attention to her needs or the family’s needs: A lot of times people get sucked up in thier problems that they forget to notice the basic things. He had the habit of forgetting simple things around the house which he felt were trivial but were actually very important. Like using the cultery for the children or wearing his dirty slippers around the house or forgetting to send money for the kids upkeep. What she didn’t know was that he was facing issues at work.
Solution: He apologetically explained that he was going through a lot at work and he understands how she feels. They both had a heart to heart and were able to understand where each person was coming from.
3. Trust and confidentiality: One thing that makes partners go off is finding out that private matters in their relationships are going to the ears of outsiders. It can make people feel betrayed. My uncle due to losing his mind resulted in discussing his persistent nagging partner with his mother and his friends. He explained to her his reasons ans she was able to come to terms with it and let it go.
Key things we realized at the end of it all:
- Communication is key for a peaceful relationship. The two of them didn’t convey their issues with one another on time and resulted in fighting about it.
- Do not go to war with a nagging partner. You will only make things worse.
- Have a sit down conversation with the person and try to underatsn wheere they are coming from. And explain where you are coming from.
- Bringing a trusted and well respected neutral figure to explain the issue from both sides. it is most likely tjhat each person will not want to see the point of the other.
- Feed the wrong relationship with love.
- Avoid suspicipus behaviours that can cause insecirties.
- Pay attention to the details and hidden messages in their complains.
If you implement these tips, I promise that your nagging partner will greatly improve. My aunt felt really bad after the entire ordeal and apolgized to my uncle. He also did the same and they have been fairing better since. On rare occasions, she flips, but he makes sure he blocks out the bad and pays attention to the hidden messgae.
Have you experienced the ordeal of having a nagging partner? How did you solve it? Share your experience with us below.