So, you’ve been admitted to Uni, but he hasn’t? He’s in UNILAG, but you’re in UNILORIN? One of you is relocating?
With stress of school, the craze with independence, hook up culture, and trend of ‘enjoying life on campus’ it can look like a horrible idea. Don’t develop heart ache, though it’s daunting, there are still ways around it. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, as it tests your bond and commitment. Don’t freak out. Here’s what has worked for some people:
This is the backbone on which all others rest. If you have doubts and uncertaintes from the onset, your worst nightmare might just come through.
Communication is key.
You can’t keep mute and expect to know what’s going on in each other’s lives. Social media is there for you. Utilise it. It won’t be the same as being physically present, and you will miss intimacy, but it’s something.
Don’t substitute calls with chats too much. It can get stale.
Facetime. Facetime. Facetime.
Skype, Whatsapp video, Imo, etc are there for you. Three months, one year, etc is a long time not to see someone’s face. Not just anyone, The One.
Do not use “I’m really busy” as an excuse not to check in with your partner. Fine, you’re both students in separate schools or which ever circumstance put a long distance between you too, but make efforts to call, text or even visit if possible.
Be as open as possible so that there won’t be room for doubts. Shit happens, yes. If you slip, don’t keep it a secret. You don’t want your bae/boo hearing things from other people, do you? It might seem like your level of trust is solid, but somethings are like ‘seed sowing’ and in the long run, it’ll blow up in your face.
Be careful of typos that might be miscommunicated and result in fights. If you mistakenly type:
“I and Kunle kissed each other” instead of “…dissed each other,” hmmm! You might have some serious explaining to do; blame it on auto correct. Lol.
Surprise him/her occasionally.
Is his birthday approaching? Why not surprise him with an order from Jumia? Or even something handpicked through FedEx? Insightful gestures go a long way.
Make a conscious decision to be committed.
Avoid situations, people and things that will jeopardize this. Make it clear to others where you are that you’re already in a serious relationship. Don’t be like those people that have the-main -person-in-Lagos, and ‘others’ littered about. Not cool.
I know what you’re thinking; you’re already long distance, why more space?? Yes, you’re miles apart, but don’t choke each other up. Your life shouldn’t entirely revolve around someone or a relationship. Go out with the guys or girls once in a while. Work on yourself. Develop meaningful friendships.
In the end, all these might not necessarily guarantee that the relationship will survive, but time will tell. Know when to let go, for unavoidable reasons (continuous cheating, maybe) and don’t let your academics or emotional health suffer.
Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?
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