Today on #bbnaija Housemates relationship series we will be discussing 5 ways to Lose your woman using the #bbnaija Tobi Example. At the beginning of the series we talked about 5 ways to lose your man using the Cee-example, you can read it by clicking this: #BBnaija Housemates Relationship Series – 5 Ways To Lose Your Man (CEE-C)
We are going to equally show how Tobi also contributed to collapse of the relationship as yes Cee-C did a lot to push him away but his actions also played a huge role. Learn a few things.
1. Lack OF Authority: As much as the feminist movement is moving and we believe greatly in the equality of the two sexes; in the space of a relationship or marriage, the man has to be the head. This involves taking a stand, serving as her advisor, telling her when she’s wrong and not encouraging her bad attitudes. If #BBnaija Tobi had put Cee-C in her place earlier, their issues might not have gravitated to the levels it did.
2. Being Too Flirty With Other Women: Yes Cee-C displayed a lot of insecurity issues but we can’t deny that #BBnaija Tobi was being too flirty with the other girls in the house. There is a difference between having fun and being silly and actually making people feel insecure. You need to let your woman feel save with you. Never give her a reason to doubt you.
3. Getting Attached Too Fast: Another place #BBnaija Tobi missed it was getting attached too fast and letting her see how much attached to her that he was. Once a woman sees your vulnerability, especially if she has insecurities, she would turn you into her puppet -the instrument for pleasing her ego. Once a woman sees you as something beneath her or something she can control, her respect for you dwindles. Once she can’t respect then she can’t love you.
4. Starting Intimacy passes too quickly: Sex and intimacy for men and women are different. Men are able to engage in this more quickly and easily than women. Most respectable ladies would not be comfortable with getting intimate with someone they just met. Especially, someone, they want to pursue something long term with. #BBnaija Tobi scared her off with his passes and somewhat painted a wrong picture of maybe him wanting only physical benefits. Cee-C made a lot of remarks about it. Starting that he changed ever since he realized she was a virgin.
5. Discussing private issues with the public: A relationship is built on trust, and by trust, we mean being honest at all times and not sharing senstive information with people. In as much as we can aplty say Cee-C pushed him to the Wall, Tobi should have been midler and more selective in his public discourse of thier issues. It is a major turn off for women and might cause her to see you as immature. Iron out your issues in private without external interference and you both would make better choices and decisions influencing your relationship.
Some Other Articles in the series are:
Click the links above to read.